Tripping on Two Planets: How Psilocybin Changed My Life
From Healing Journey to Burning Man Nightmare
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. This Dickensian sentiment captures the dichotomy I’ve personally experienced with psilocybin. I share with you two markedly different psilocybin anecdotes: one, a journey towards healing with experienced guides; the other, an existential crisis at a regional Burning Man festival.
Psilocybin Therapy: A Healing Journey
“Through psilocybin, we explore the corridors of the mind, shedding light on our deepest fears and revealing our true potential.” - Michael Pollan
In the calming heart of Santa Cruz, which recently decriminalized psilocybin possession and use, I first pulled the trigger on psilocybin therapy at a psilocybin and breathwork workshop. I had researched psilocybin therapy for years and discussed my interest with own therapist before signing up for the workshop. It was a beacon of light in my long battle with anxiety, stress, and childhood traumas.
While I used to roll my eyes at the idea of “magic mushrooms,” the emerging science behind the psilocybin therapy slowly changed my mind throughout the years. In layman’s terms: psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms, has a unique ability to reset certain neural pathways, providing a fresh start for the mind. This, in combination with the psychotherapy, helped me heal my mind from a life’s worth of traumas.
The setting felt like a serene sanctuary: welcoming mats with pillows and blankets were provided, soft instrumental music wafted through the air, the scent of calming incense filled the room, and an artistic ceiling inspired thoughts of the universe. The setting was designed to foster a safe and comforting environment, a haven where I was encouraged to let down my defenses and confront my innermost struggles.
There were five of us who signed up for the workshop, plus three guides. Our guides were seasoned psilocybin and plant medicine guides—one of them was a therapist, although not my own therapist. They had guided others on similar healing journeys hundreds of times.
I set my intention for the session, one I had discussed with my therapist, and took two measured psilocybin pills with a glass of water. We practiced yoga to help metabolize the psilocybin. As we wrapped up 45 minutes of yoga practice and as the substance made its way into my system, I laid down onto the comfortable yoga mat and pillow. Our guides covered us with blankets. My eyes closed, my ears filled with the soothing sounds of a carefully curated playlist, and my body relaxed, beginning my psilocybin healing journey.
The experience was unlike anything I had ever encountered. I journeyed through a vivid landscape of thoughts and emotions, some pleasant, others challenging. The guides were there at each step, a grounding presence, guiding me through the psychological landscape. I processed a entire life’s worth of traumas at a rate that felt like a hundred miles per second. I experienced moments of profound self-reflection and felt a deep sense of safety, security, and connection with myself. The resulting healing was equal to decade’s worth of talk therapy in one session. It was, by far, the single most important thing I’ve done for my mental health.
In the weeks and months following the session, I felt a palpable shift. The world seemed brighter, more vibrant. I found myself more open to people and experiences, less consumed by negative thoughts and past experiences. Since then, I’ve often found myself becoming acutely aware of my triggers; but this time, I’m observing the trigger versus getting caught up in it, recalling how I used to be reactive to them, giving me the space and choice to act differently, and breaking old mental loops.
These were by no means magic pills; my burdens did not disappear overnight, but psilocybin provided me with new tools and perspectives to manage them.
Recreational Psilocybin: A Burning Man Nightmare
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Lourdes’s Substack to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.